Wednesday, October 23, 2019

IDOLiSH7: Wavelength of Souls

I relate very strongly to Yuki.

Wavelength of Souls
By Bunta Tsushimi
IDOLiSH7 Vibrato Limited Edition Short Story Book


Tenn Nanase had a younger twin brother.

His name was Riku. He was an honest, kind, spoiled, cute boy. His little brother had been ill all his life, and Tenn cared a great deal for him.

When Riku couldn't move, Tenn was his hands and feet. When Riku was lonely, Tenn made him as happy as could be. He thought it was his purpose, as the one who was born healthy.

Riku loved music. So Tenn learned and sang lots of songs for Riku. He also danced, imitating the dancers at their father's club.

He stepped carefully to make sure he didn't stir up dust. A simple song with hand gestures like Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star wasn't enough. He wanted something that would make Riku happier. He wanted Riku's eyes to go round with surprise.

Riku would always smile brightly, deeply impressed.

"How was that?"

"You were amazing! I wanna hear more!"

Tenn laughed with embarrassment and nodded. Tenn loved it when Riku complimented him. His little brother would always cough painfully, but when Tenn sang, he would smile so happily. That moment made Tenn indescribably joyful.

"How was that?"

"You were amazing! You were really cool, Tenn-nii!"

Riku's bright voice made Tenn's heart feel as light as a paper airplane that could soar to the ends of the earth.

One day, Tenn saw a story about twins on a special TV feature.

"There have been cases where there are twins in the mother's belly, but only one baby is born. This is because one child is absorbed while still in the womb."

This came as a huge shock to Tenn. He heard his mother's voice approaching, and for some reason, he instantly turned off the TV. He could hear his heart pounding quickly.

The revelation was unbelievably cruel.

He must have absorbed the health from Riku's body, so now Riku started coughing so readily. So only he was healthy, and Riku had a weak body.

In truth, the explanation was about the mother's uterus absorbing the fetus that had stopped growing in the womb, but Tenn misunderstood for a while. His legs that could run quickly, his body that could jump high, his fingers that could move deftly, and most importantly, his voice that could carry, should all have gone to Riku. That was what he thought.

Tenn was deeply shaken, but it was different from wanting to cry. It was different from being angry, too. It was even more different from feeling relieved.

Finally, this is what he came to think.

Whenever someone is happy, someone else is unhappy. Whenever someone's wish comes true, someone else's wish is destroyed.

Whenever he messed up, someone else succeeded. His strength was thanks to someone else's weakness. Then in that case, he should love someone as much as he himself had been loved.

He should be kind to others as much as he himself had been treated kindly.

Happiness was not something to hog and monopolize all to himself. It was something to be passed on to someone else, like a game of catch. If you relinquished it freely, it would soon fly back to you.

And when Tenn's family name changed to Kujou, he entered the most fitting occupation.

He became someone who loved and was loved by others -- an idol.

x x x

The round light that fell on the stage looked like the full moon.

Tenn Kujou went through the dance steps, surrounded by the cheers that shook the venue. It was a graceful, captivating dance that they couldn't tear their eyes away from.

"Let's go! Stick with us to the end!"

Gaku's voice through the microphone was drowned out by loud cheers. Tenn followed Gaku with his eyes as his sweat scattered into the air and he went through the steps. Gaku's silhouette was lit up in flashing red, yellow, and blue lights.

On the other edge of his vision, Ryuunosuke was using his long arms and legs as he danced. It was a free-spirited dance, bold and lively. Though they stood far away from each other and couldn't see each other's expressions, Tenn thought that Ryuunosuke was smiling.

The two of them slowly approached him from either end of the stage. Tenn began to walk, still facing forward and singing.

Their name was TRIGGER.

They were a hot new male idol group, and tonight they were performing in a charity concert, along with the top idols Re:vale.

The dazzling lights were not all they had to deal with. The honor of a big celebrity production company. The record company proceeds. The trust of the sponsors. The expectations of the fans who loved them.

With all of that on their shoulders, with tens of thousands of eyes on them, they headed toward the light.

The cheering voices exploded over them. Tenn knew even without looking back. Ryuunosuke was stepping and Gaku was finishing up a turn.

Next it was Tenn's turn.

Unbidden, a daring smile rose to his face. He was glad that he could bring happiness to the audience in front of him tonight. Just as he had brought a smile to his little brother's face as a child.

"TRIGGER will shoot right into your heart," Tenn murmured, bringing the microphone to his mouth.

x x x

The afterparty for the charity concert took place in the small meeting hall on site.

It wasn't a flashy party, but Tenn Kujou felt comfortable. They didn't toast with shining glasses, but with paper cups, and the meeting table was filled with common foods from catered lunches. It was not celebrities trying to make their name but personages who loved their town who were smiling and thanking each other.

He'd left quite early, but even the president of Yaotome Productions, known for being level-headed and pragmatic, had worn a softer expression than usual. This was not a place for competition, or a place to act without restraint, but a place full of people who had overcome disaster.

And at the center of this place was Momo of Re:vale.

He was taking the initiative and grabbing a paper cup, and then a bottle of beer, pulling at someone's arm, and then introducing someone else. Everyone around him was smiling. Even the people who were meeting him for the first time were disarmed by Momo's smile and were engaging themselves without reservation.

He's amazing.

Tenn was frankly astonished. It was clear why he was in great demand on variety shows at such a young age. You could tell from a glance he had a well-meaning, trustworthy personality.

He would have to do more than just pay lip service to his senior. Tenn drew closer to Momo, intending to pour him a drink. But in the back of his mind, it occurred to him that he might be a bother. This might be how Momo was networking. In that case, he would be in the way if he interrupted.

Tenn handed a paper cup to Momo, taking care not to bother him.

"Good work, Momo-san. Have a drink."

Momo, who smiled at everyone, turned toward Tenn. In that moment, Tenn felt strangely nervous.

Momo stared at Tenn for less than a second. Tenn felt like his personality and his motivations were being studied and sized up. For just an instant, under that strong gaze, he felt like a frog being dissected.

Some days later, Momo would say this.

"Sorry, sorry, it's a habit from when I was playing soccer! You have to look at the other person, right? Figure out in a second if a pass will go through, if they're watching you, how they're doing. That's kind of how I felt. ...huh? You thought I was checking something? Just whether or not you're Re:vale's enemy! But I already knew you're a good kid."

Today, Momo resumed smiling in a friendly way and held out his cup to Tenn.

"Thanks! That's really nice of you, Tenn!"

And he turned to face Tenn. Tenn felt a little apologetic as Momo positioned himself to talk to him. It felt like he, a junior idol, had asked one of his seniors to pay attention to him.

Momo didn't mind. Tenn would only hear about this later, but Momo was interested in TRIGGER.

"I'm glad we got to do a concert together. You're very good at MCing, Momo-san."

"You're good too. Gaku's the one who's best at firing everyone up, right? He did a great job getting the crowd excited!"

"Yes."

"TRIGGER was really cool. You'll definitely grow more popular!"

Momo's eyes closed as he laughed, looking as if he was truly happy. The sight of that warm, beaming smile reminded Tenn once again that Momo really was a good person. He was happy to have a person like that praise his group.

"Yes. Thank you."

Momo was called away by someone, so Tenn moved away so as not to get in the way. While looking for Gaku and Ryuunosuke, he caught sight of Yuki.

Yuki was leaning against the wall in a corner of the room. He was standing expressionless, holding a paper plate. Next to him, Re:vale's manager was bowing wholeheartedly to him.

Honestly, it did not look good.

Some days later, Yuki would say this.

"Back then, I was really very hungry, but there wasn't anything to eat except agemono and sushi. I don't eat meat or fish. If Momo was there, he would split it with me, but he looked busy… Okarin looked for cucumber rolls for me, but they ran out. Well, it's fine. I don't really like cucumber rolls…"

Ignorant of this, Tenn braced himself and walked toward Yuki. He couldn't only greet Momo and leave Yuki out. Tenn was too serious to do that.

"Good work, Yuki-san."

When Tenn approached with a paper cup in hand to pour him beer, Yuki shook his head.

"I don't want any."

Tenn grew nervous, his skin prickling at Yuki's unpleasant mood.

Guessing that he wouldn't want to drink on an empty stomach, Tenn considered pulling a candy from his pocket and offering it, but right now, there was the relationship between a popular and a newcomer idol to consider. It felt similar to being declined a handshake and threw Tenn off.

Then, after a brief silence, Yuki slowly began to speak.

"Huh…? Tenn-kun, you can drink?"

"No, I'm not drinking."

"Oh, really."

"I just poured for Momo-san, so I thought I'd do the same for you."

"Did Momo tell you to come find me?"

"No, I wanted to… Momo-san is really a bright, wonderful person."

Suddenly, Yuki laughed cheerfully.

"Right?"

Tenn nodded, blinking in surprise at the sudden change in Yuki's attitude. So Yuki isn't a bad person either, he thought. Not if he's the type of person who becomes happy when someone praises his partner.

Tenn's heart had been racing as he experienced a Re:vale live event up close. They were amazing people whom he respected.

He wanted to get closer and closer to them.

He would try getting closer.

"TRIGGER is great too."

Tenn smiled at the sudden compliment. He was sure he was making the same proud face that Yuki wore.

No. Maybe it was the smile he had given his younger brother as a child.

'How was that?'

"Yes. TRIGGER really is great."

Tenn raised his chin boastfully and searched for the tall figures of his teammates.

He found Gaku and Ryuunosuke speaking and laughing with men he didn't recognize. Anesagi was standing next to them, smiling fondly. Anesagi was probably watching over them to make sure they didn't drink too much.

But their manager's efforts would be all for naught.

Because Re:vale would end up making them drink a lot.

x x x

"Re:vale is really nice," Gaku said cheerfully in the car as they were leaving.

Gaku always had an elegant air about him. Whether he meant it or not, he was a man who could not be taken lightly. He had a strong charisma he was born with and a competitive gaze. There weren't many people who came close to Gaku Yaotome unprepared.

Re:vale was a special case. When they had met with Momo and Yuki, they had spoken to him and made him drink without hesitation.

"Yeah, they are. Momo-san said he likes Okinawa. He goes there a lot," Ryuunosuke slurred, smiling innocently. Ryuunosuke was the one who had been made to drink the most.

Tenn gazed out the window, wearing an exasperated expression. Re:vale had asked about the relationship between Gaku and his father, Ryuunosuke's hometown, their family members, and even their elementary school summer homework, just as if they were on a scripted variety show.

Tenn had been the only one who had managed to keep his silence. Re:vale's short manager was probably suffering from a stomachache right about now after being threatened by Anesagi. Unlike Yaotome Production, Okazaki Production, where Re:vale worked, was still a small agency.

"So then… Tenn. Hey, Tenn! Are you listening?"

"I am. Momo-san invited us to go for a drink next time."

"Right. It's great, right? When you're, you know, you're, that thing…"

"Of age."

"Right right. That."

"Tenn, Momo-san said he likes Okinawa. He goes there a lot."

"You can't go! There's something dangerous about them. You think so too, right, Tenn?"

"Tenn, so then, Momo-san said he likes Okinawa."

"I do."

"Why!?

"I wonder why. Maybe it's because the ocean is so pretty. I'm really happy."

"They're good people, right? You're being rude."

"I am not. You all are too gullible."

"There aren't any gulls. It's fine!" [1]

"That's right, it's fine!"

"They're dangerous people!"

A vein throbbed in Tenn's head and he closed his eyes.

"Talk to me again when you're sober."

"We're not drunk."

"Not drunk, not drunk."

"You're drunk!"

Tenn averted his gaze from the two of them and heaved a large sigh.

Gaku looked smug and poked Tenn's cheek. It was the first time he'd acted so familiarly. Tenn's eyes widened.

"What was that just now?"

"You're jealous, arencha?"

"Huh?"

"Because you can't drink with us."

"Are you stupid?" Tenn spat out immediately.

After that, he ignored all their attempts to talk to him. He thought a bit while he kept his silence. Was he jealous?

That wasn't it, but he felt a slight sense of loss similar to envy. What was it, really?

He could see their billboards on the city buildings outside the window. They were pictures that reflected Gaku's intense gaze and Ryuunosuke's sexy smile.

Suddenly, he remembered Momo's words.

TRIGGER is great too.

He must have wanted to hear more like that.

He wanted Momo and Yuki to praise Gaku and Ryuunosuke more.

He didn't sing for the praise. That was only natural for Tenn. Even without praise, even if they were insulted and slandered, Tenn would continue to stand on the stage and sing for his own sake.

But now he wanted to hear it said, because Re:vale, and Gaku and Ryuunosuke, were more wonderful than he had ever imagined.

Riku… there are lots of amazing idols in Japan.

Tenn remembered his little brother, who was now far, far away. What was he doing now? Did he know about TRIGGER? Did he know about Re:vale?

What songs was he listening to now?

Was the happiness Tenn was spreading through the microphone and the cameras reaching him?

"I wanna make them happy," Ryuunosuke murmured happily, his face relaxed. Tenn only glanced at his face from the side; he seemed ready to fall asleep.

"That was, really fun… Re:vale-san was cool, and they were nice, and Gaku and Tenn did great too, and the crowd cheered so much… My heart feels ready to burst. At this rate, I'm gonna overload with happiness and die."

"Like happiness poisoning?" Gaku laughed, his eyes soft. He opened the car window, letting in fresh air, and settled comfortably in his seat.

"But I get it… I wanna repay them soon. Let's repay our fans."

"Yeah. I wanna have our next live soon!"

Ryuunosuke's voice grew excited, and Anesagi smiled wryly. "How silly. You're going to rest now."

His hair ruffled by the night breeze, Tenn hid his smile.

His teammates here had the same kind of soul as him. That was what he believed.

They would give, and keep on giving, and keep running forever.

Just like the racing wind.

x x x

The wind carried the sound of waves to the venue of the Summer Island Music Festival.

After having exited the stage, Tenn wiped away his sweat with a towel, gazing at the camera monitors. Along with IDOLiSH7, they had just been singing the song that bound them together. Now IDOLiSH7 was singing their own songs.

After they'd fired up the audience with the unusual encore, they had returned to their original setlist. Gaku and Ryuunosuke hadn't let the excitement die down, throwing their arms around each other's shoulders as they called for IDOLiSH7.

On this summer night, Tenn's eyes narrowed as he watched Riku run around the stage.

'You're really amazing, Tenn-nii!'

The young Riku who had praised Tenn from his bed was now basking in the cheers of thousands of people.

Riku had been Tenn's first fan, watching him with shining eyes.

When had Riku gone from admiring him to wanting to be like him?

He wanted to sing too. He wanted to dance and make someone happy too.

Why hadn't Tenn noticed?

Riku looked at something and laughed as if relieved. His gaze was directed at Iori Izumi and Yamato Nikaidou. It wasn't Tenn who touched his back as if to check on him and exchanged smiles with him, but Sougo Ohsaka and Nagi Rokuya.

Tenn could respect Mitsuki Izumi, who was waving passionately at the fans, and Tamaki Yotsuba, who continued to dance even drenched in sweat, the same way he respected Re:vale. IDOLiSH7 is great too. He could say as much.

The summer night's wind pulled at his heart in a melancholy way.

Several minutes earlier, Tenn and Riku had stood with their arms around each other's shoulders, their voices blending together as they sang.

If he had made a different choice, could that have been his future?

IDOLiSH7's song finished and a huge cheer swelled up. The image of the stage on the monitor went dark, and Tenn calmed down.

Of course not… Riku can't be an idol with his constitution.

There was no way he had completely recovered from his illness. Stress, physical exertion, fatigue, lack of sleep -- their job was full of stressors that could wear away at Riku's health.

It's absolutely impossible for Riku.

That was not how he truly felt.

Even when they were apart, Tenn had hoped that the happiness he was spreading would reach Riku. When his heart was full of joy, he had directed that feeling, imagining Riku's smile when they were young.

What would he do if that smile vanished?

He couldn't imagine it.

"Good work!"

"Yeah! Good work!"

IDOLiSH7 had left the stage and was approaching them. Gaku high-fived Mitsuki Izumi. Ryuunosuke passed out water to several of them.

When Tenn looked up, Riku was standing there.

He was covered in sweat and breathing hard.

And his face was wreathed in smiles as he asked.

"Tenn-nii, how was that!?"

For a moment, Tenn was at a loss for words.

He felt like he was seeing his childhood self before him.

It wasn't like he was unable to get out of bed, but he felt the same lack of freedom and the same happiness as he smiled.

A job where you loved and were loved by others.

It was because he knew that Riku was also suited for it.

"You were amazing. You were really cool, Riku."

Riku laughed with embarrassment, looking bashful. In that moment, he looked completely happy.

On that dreamy, midsummer night.



[1] OKAY this entire conversation doesn't have speaker markers. It's obvious who's saying what in Japanese, but speech styles aren't as defined in English. Anesagi is the one who's suspicious of Re:vale; the word used here is 懐柔 (read "kaijuu"), literally "you're too easy to win over." Gaku's response is that there aren't any monsters/怪獣 (also read "kaijuu"), so they're totally safe. Another one of those silly pronunciation jokes.

No comments:

Post a Comment